Santa’s Christmas gift list


While it is just a few days until Christmas, there is still time to sneak a peek at Santa’s gift list for elected and other public officials. This has been a long tradition I started more than 16 years ago when I began writing this column for the Westminster Window and other weekly newspapers. You will note a degree of “tongue in cheek” and a dose of sarcasm sprinkled in among the list. Enjoy!!

Fair tax rates and hairspray

Let’s start at the top: For President Donald Trump, Santa really had to scratch his head and focus on what would be the best gift among all the chaos churning up every day. Santa even consulted all of his elves and Rudolph on this one. He finally came up with a three-year supply of “extra firm” hair spray along with a tax reform package which is truly fair to middle class taxpayers. Cutting out the rhetoric and reducing the tax rate on businesses from 35 percent to 25 percent will help do the job and not create such a huge deficit. Santa has his doubts about the Republicans’ claim regarding an economic boost with lower taxes.

For Vice President Michael Pence, the Jolly Old Elf has a joke-a-day calendar. The Vice President could stand to loosen up a bit and Santa thought this might get him started.

Next on the list are Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan. Given the lack of bi-partisan attitudes displayed in the two houses of Congress, the plump ole man in the red suit is suggesting the two leaders share in reading the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Perhaps they will learn something.

Fracking rules and winning teams

For our Colorado U.S. Senators Michael Bennet and Cory Gardner, Saint Nick has decided on tapping them to co-sponsor legislation to protect the DACA youth from being deported. Santa thinks these young people need a fair shake at continuing to be good students and working toward becoming U.S. citizens.

When thinking of a meaningful gift for Governor John Hickenlooper, Santa Claus came up with exceptional winning seasons in 2018 for the Broncos, Rockies, Nuggets, Avalanche, Rapids, Mammoth, Outlaws, Buffaloes, Rams, Road Runners, Pioneers and all the other state college athletic programs.

Among other things, a winning season means more sales tax revenue in state and local coffers along with regaining pride. Plus, most of the teams really need a boost!

Also, the man in the red suit sees the significant increase in traffic on streets and highways and will lobby the state legislature for a ballot proposition to increase tax funding for highway, roads and bridge construction.

Kris Kringle recognizes that in Colorado fracking is a major on-going polarizing issue with strong arguments in favor on both sides. For the Board of Adams County Commissioners, Broomfield City Council, Thornton City Council and other local governments faced with this issue, Kringle is wishing that the state legislature will come up with a meaningful package of strong regulations which can be accepted by both sides of the issue and avoid litigation.

Jobs, development and snowpack

Turning to Westminster Mayor Herb Atchison and the City Council, Santa knows that the city would like to have more development coming in the queue at the New Downtown site. So, he has on his wish list a new condominium development, some Class A office space and some in-line retail that is more attuned to the area’s social-economic profile.

Also, Santa has his eye on the city getting underway in the new year with initial historical archival work under the auspices of the Library Division. He is going to send some elves to help with the historical items inventory.

The New Year will be special for the City of Thornton, Mayor Heidi Williams, City Council and the residents with the opening of the Amazon distribution center and the outlet retail development. Santa will make sure all the jobs are filled and lots of customers will shop at the outlet center.

For Northglenn Mayor Carol Dodge and City Council, Saint Nick has on his list a timely construction completion and being on budget for the new Justice Center along with ground breaking for the new Ralston House facility both located along 112th Avenue. Both will be good additions.

Finally, the Jolly Old Elf has been observing the weather pattern in Colorado with spring like weather in November/ December, the lack of moisture on the plains and the below normal snow pack in the high country. He is going to do his best to bring plenty of snow to the mountains and moisture for the plains so that a drought does not happen. He may even do a rain dance: Oh, what a sight to see, Ho, Ho, Ho!

Here’s wishing you and yours a most enjoyable Christmas, Hanukah or other special events which you may celebrate this time of year. May your cup runneth over with love, peace, hope and joy.

Bill Christopher is a former Westminster city manager and RTD board member. His opinions are not necessarily those of Colorado Community Media.

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